Twinsight by Dara Lovitz

Author:Dara Lovitz
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Familius
Published: 2017-12-14T00:00:00+00:00

So, with my new goal in mind, I dropped one child off at a friend’s house and took the other to a local coffee shop. It felt like a naughty adventure, one that we should keep secret. It was just so novel and enjoyable that it felt like it must be sinful in some way! I began to make this activity a regular adventure: I made it a habit to drop one child off at a playdate while I took the other for a special treat at the local bakery. The playdate was much easier for the hosting parent, the hosting child had special one-on-one time with one child, and the child I took to the bakery and I enjoyed alone time together. It was a win-win-win-win!

The general theme of this chapter is one-on-one time, but I would urge parents who have a caretaking partner to attempt an even loftier and logistically more difficult goal: two-on-one time. A first-born singleton raised in a two-parent household can typically recollect fond memories when she was taken to the playground or to a museum or to a community event with both parents. In fact, it’s a common scene at a playground on the weekend to see two parents taking photos and marveling at the milestones of their only child as she grows. But many adult twins cannot recall a time when they ever had one hundred percent of both parents’ attention. Ever!

I recall when my twin daughter Eden was almost two years old and started screaming in the middle of the night. My husband and I rushed in to pick her up so she wouldn’t wake up Tal, with whom she shared a room. We brought Eden to the bathroom so we could turn on the light and figure out what was wrong. I sat at the edge of the bathtub with Eden on my lap, and my husband turned on the light. The moment she saw that she had both of us there with her, she calmed down. At first, she asked for a tissue to wipe her nose. Then she asked for medicine to soothe her tooth pain. Then she asked for us to take her socks off. And then put them back on. When she had seemingly exhausted all possible requests, I stood up to take her back to her crib and she started crying again. When we asked what was wrong, she smiled and shrugged. There was nothing left; we concluded that she was just enjoying the very special two-on-one time and didn’t want it to end.

The most important piece of advice to achieve one-on-one time and two-on-one time (arguably the most difficult to implement) is this: enlist help. How special it would be for a grandparent to have alone time with one of your twin children so you can have special time with the other! Then switch! Caretakers, relatives, and your partner will enjoy an “easy” childcare experience with just one child while you can enjoy time with the other child.

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